Over the past couple of years I believe I have forgotten how strong a woman I am.....July 10, 2003 4:00 am my daughters and I boarded a Greyhound bus to San Francisco, we lived in Georgia at the time. It took two days forty-eight minutes for us to reach our destination. I had lived in California when I was a teenager, but that was Southern California, we were starting anew in Northern California. This was a serious walk of faith because we did not have friends nor family in Northern California that we could stay with until we got on our feet. When we arrived in San Francisco, we went immediately to the Oceanside part of the city, now the one thing we were not dressed for was the sixty degree day in which we had arrived, to the hotel I had booked for us. The hotel owners took pity on us and let us check into our room early, before 12 pm, they gave us directions to the nearest store and how to visit the beach which as just a short walk down the street, they were very kindhearted. So there we were in a hotel room in California, no job, no friends or family, and limited funds, there was a deep rooted fear that was settling in my gut, I mean I did not know what I was going to do, but I knew the situation that I had left was far worse than what I was facing. That is when I remembered something my sister said when she and her children hit a rough patch. So I took that route made a couple of phone calls, and to protect all those that these organizations protect I will not write their names, but my daughters and I went into a batter women's shelter. At first I felt badly because I was not being abused by a boyfriend or husband so why did they let us stay? What they taught me was abuse comes in all different ways, and the way I experienced it was verbal, and emotional and it had taken place over many years and that is why they accepted us into the shelter. I know most will think that a shelter, no way no how, well I have to admit I had always heard nothing but negative things about shelters so I was not expecting what we were welcomed into. The place we ended up was previously a convent, the place was very well kept, spacious and the staff was wonderfully helpful to me and my children. I had my own room and my children had their room they shared. Although typically ladies were only allowed to stay for 30 days, we ended up staying there for 3 months and when it was time to leave, we were scared but the staff made sure that we would end up in a place that was just as nice and staff just as caring. The next place was wonderful and the staff was just as helpful, it is there that my youngest had her first seizure, we went to the hospital (UCSF) and that is when I was informed that she has Epilepsy. The staff at the hospital and at the shelter were kind, supportive and made sure we had all that we needed. I made sure that I became very informed about Epilepsy and all the medications used to control it. I know it sounds rough but it really was an enlightening experience for me and my daughters and it was far from bad. We finally got the message that our transitional housing was ready for us to move in, and it is then that we moved to the East Bay area to a city named Concord. A few more steps were taken to get us up on our feet and moving forward, it is there that I started my career in Property Managment, something I had wanted to do for a long time. All these events happened during our first year in California and it was only going to get better. Once I was working I saved and we were able to move out of transitional housing and into our first apartment in California. It was small place but we loved it, because it was ours, and all my coworkers at the time had contributed to furnishing our new home. From that first job in Property Management I was able to become employed with one of the larger Real Estate Investment Trust and that is where I stayed for almost 4 years. I really loved what I did for a living, but the winds of change were heading my way. I did not want things to change what I did for a living I had done it for several years and I really enjoyed it, but instead of change nudging me on it pushed me on so I lost my job. At first I was really angry, sad, and scared, I mean what was I going to do now? Once I calmed down and really took a self assessment I had to admit that when all the wheels were set in motion I should have listened to my instincts and left the position before it took a turn for the worse. But I didn't and so it was time for me to leave the company. A hard lesson learned.
For 2013 that is one of the things I would like to get better at doing, following my instincts. I will take each situation this year and look at if it will be a positive experience for me or a negative one and keep myself focused on the positive. I know things will happen, difficulty will spring up from time to time but there is always a solution to every problem if it is handled right away, another lesson I am in the process of learning, the problem will have a simple solution. I look at my daughter and since the age of seven, she has had Epilepsy and she is hoping she is one of the few cases that grow out of the seizures one day, but that happens rarely. She has experienced all the emotions with having this diagnosis and the fear. Although it has been a while since she has had a seizure it is still something we are concerned about, a headache is not just a headache to her, it is reason to be worried something might happen. One of her biggest fears is that she has a seizure at school and then she will be found out and the kids will treat her differently or like something is wrong with her. But despite this fear and worry she rarely misses a day of school and has not let Epilepsy stop her from doing the things she loves to do. I am taking her example and the strength I had to take my children across country and apply it and reapply it to myself. I have to remember everyday that I am not my diagnosis, it is just something that is a part of my life and it is not my life. I have to keep taking steps forward and not back. Happy 2013!!!
Peace and Blessings
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